Don’t you dare give me that side-eye, you know the feeling when it comes. Because we often want the best for our relationships and people rarely want to seem like they aren’t trying, thoughts like these get pushed to the back more often than not. A bad relationship will work you to the bone and there will be no tangible results, trust me.
Welcome back to my blog, after a long break that had less to do with COVID-19 and more to do with my mental space. Catch my last blog about my melancholy birthday over here then let’s see what you need to do when your relationship is more work that it’s worth.
How do You Know Your Relationship is Sinking?
This should be easy enough.
– Lack of motivation to do things together.
– Feelings of guilt whenever you want to quit because the thought crosses your mind more often than not.
– Constant thoughts of what could have been with other romantic options you’ve had.
– Exhaustion at the mere thought of going through another day with your (unfortunate) significant other. Unfortunate because they probably don’t know they’ve become mental baggage to you, yet.
– Practicing your breakup lines….
The list goes on and on but the main thing is that you don’t feel motivated or happy in any way. At least where your relationship is concerned.
People generally have lots of terrible habits, but this is by far the worst and I will tell you why below. A bad relationship will hurt both of you in the end and it’s just never worth it.
Don’t do this to yourself
We often let the guilt of leaving our significant other keep us in a dead relationship for long or worse, forever. This is terrible because you tie both yourselves down in a loveless, meaningless jamble of emotions. Worst of course is when you get kids from this union.
The sooner you let them go, the sooner that both of you can start healing. It doesn’t make you a bad person per-se, but you’re not nice either when you hold on to someone with whom you see no future. This is bound to lead to a buildup of terrible things.
Don’t hold someone back from meeting other people and living their best life simply because you feel bad about ending things. You weren’t born attached to their hip after all so don’t read too much into it. You will both grow resentful and bitter in the long run if you stay in such a union.
I will let you know some ways to break things off in future because it’s a life skill for most of us I know! Until then though, let them go and give peace of mind to both of you.
Some reasons people stay in bad relationships
There are actually some valid-sounding reasons here, but really the negative outweighs the positive. Some of these reasons are:
– You feel guilty leaving someone who hasn’t done anything bad to you. You think that staying with them is some kind of token of appreciation.
– The love was lost after an episode of, say, cheating, but you decided to patch things up. As much as sometimes it works, you don’t have to die trying to make it work. It costs you more in the end than just walking away.
– You have kids together. This is a tough call and each situation is unique. If you feel you will lose your mind if you stay though, don’t. Talk to your partner and kids because they’re all sane people. The short term hurt caused by this can’t compare to the long term hurt of growing toxic and hostile from bitterness.
– You feel that you have already invested a lot of time in the relationship. Here’s a short analogy by my mum why this is the worst reason to do anything: You board a bus travelling a long distance then halfway to the destination, you discover you are in the wrong bus that’s heading in the opposite direction to your destination. Do you stay put because you’ve already covered a long distance, or do you cut your losses and alight so you can plan how to get back on track? Exactly.
Seriously, leave that bad relationship
I know I say this with lightness that overshadows the magnitude, but leave. Life is literally too short to be in a bad relationship and it might be the last thing you do. Do you really want your epitaph to read that you were bitter and angry all the time for reasons no one knew? Secretly though, because no one has the nerve to be mean to the dead…
Sacrifice is a virtue and it rocks, just not in this case. If sacrificing makes you a bad human being to those around you- because you will become that- then is it really worth it?
Stay foxxy, and sanitize your hands as well as your relationship lol!