As illustrated by this image of a sharpened pencil on the post, a dangerous relationship will act as a sharpener, not in the lovely way in that it leaves you ‘sharper and more focused’ but in that it will frustrate you and leave you spent and hopeless.

Your intuition is there for a reason and as such you should listen to it when it whispers to you, “get the hell out now” and save yourself a potential heartbreak episode.

So today I have outlined a few red flags that you should absolutely not ignore regarding a dangerous relationship; signs that will shine through even the rosiest coloured glasses of a new found romance or dating stage. Because there’s so much to write on this topic, I will split the post up in two and will upload the second half of it in my next post.

Note that I use the masculine form in most of my descriptions because it feels more natural to me, I am a female and these are behaviors that exist in both genders with no fear or favor but I tend to focus my attention on the male species more ūüėČ

The Scary Temper

When they resort to indirect violence when angry by throwing things, breaking objects, and punching solid walls, know that this is a display of what they can do to you, and they want you to know it, and you will experience it sooner or later unless you never, ever make them angry and is that really possible?

This intimidation technique also serves to habituate the partner to acts of violence so they can grow comfortable and think that this is normal behavior in any relationship.

Hurting You on Purpose

They might criticize you, twist your arm, pull your hair, destroy your stuff, and eventually get to escalated levels of abuse, so you should get out the moment you see any of these signs because it only gets worse from there and before you know it you are being physically abused or worse yet, getting killed.

Animal Hater

This sounds like a non-issue but¬†hear me out: animals often go along to get along with us and unless we hurt them, they are ok with us so if your partner kicks cats in the house and throws rocks at random dogs, watch out because this juvenile¬†behavior¬†is a sign of deep-seated mental issues and rest assured you will see how bad it can get when you cross them and get on the receiving end. Animals also have a deep intuition and can tell a person’s true intentions so if animals really hate your significant other, make it a point to find out why. Don’t leave on the basis of this alone, though, that would make you a strange person to say the truth.

The Literal Baby

This one wants you to take care of his undeveloped and malformed self as he won’t do it himself, and his mother also did not or could not do it. Be wary of this one though because he will draw in the care-giving type of woman, most women actually, and then he will have so much need that it consumes you trying to take care of him.

No grown adult should expect someone else to be responsible for his habits, emotions, misbehaviors, etc so get out before you get drained.

Overly Controlling

They want to have the final say on everything from when you can visit your friends and family, which of them you can see and all to what outfit you leave the house in. To this effect they may use indirect hints and statements like ‘that dress really brings your tummy out’ or be more direct but whichever the case, you will rarely get approval for your compliance and even if it does come it is a half-hearted ‘that’s better’, no more.

The Killer of Confidence

Although toxic people like short flings because of the promise of variety and new thrills and having large numbers of people around them, they sometimes get into long-term commitments on a target they might deem a challenge. As it is sometimes difficult to control a strong and sober mind, they trade in their extreme flattery for terrible critisism.

They will correct every slight mistake you make so you feel unintelligent, below average and constantly on the defensive. Once your esteem starts to drop and you feel as though you are always doing something wrong, they will treat you badly in a way to imply you deserve it and this erosion of your confidence will turn you into a shadow of yourself befor long.

This brings to mind the conversion of a pretty,¬†eductaed, and much-loved news anchor some years ago by some kind of foreign ‘pastor’. Her case was so extreme that she denounced her parents, and continued living with this¬†man even¬†after reports of the death of her son in mysterious circumstances involving the ‘lover’ surfaced.

Now Bitter…..
……Now sweet

A psycho is incapable of keeping long relationships if he is constantly his true mean, ugly-natured self so he punctuates his evil with occasional good, sweet deeds. This keeps the partner hoping to receive this reward again, and trying to find the super secret to enable them get this good treatment again and again, and although it will keep recurring, it is only meant to keep you hooked but is not a representation of the true intentions of the psycho.

The Blame Game Expert

Your partner never takes responsibility for their misdeeds, and when he doesn’t deny his mistakes, he turns it around and finds a way to blame you for it. He hit you? Only because you provoked him. He cheated on you? You are imagining things and reading things into something that does not exist.

No dirt can stick on this one and if for a moment you expect him to take responsibility for his actions then you are in for a shock. He never, ever does.

Public Displays of  Embarrassment

Because he cannot build a physical prison around you, he will build a psychological one by putting you down in public by reducing your sociability and eliminating all positive human contact from your life. He will lash out, call you names, and say rude and embarrassing things to you in public, like a time we were at a party and my resident psycho decided to drag me around the room full of revelers to which I responded by laughing in order to avoid causing a scene at all costs. Another time he twisted my arm while we were walking in the street and as I did not know then what I know now, I accepted his explanation that it was a joke.

If you stay long enough in this relationship you will find yourself smiling and being polite to him in public, if anything to allay the ‘punishment’ that by now you have no doubt he will deliver and he will have successfully converted strong and proud you into his doormat.

So today I break here, join me tomorrow for the rest of the post; and until then, avoid psychos and stay foxxy!!