Hello there!! I trust you’ve all been great and healthy; and I apologize for the super-long impromptu break that I took; I had to attend a trade fair and had no warning of just how intensive it was going to be, given that I was not even a sole stand-display so you best believe that I’m glad that’s over…..
I last wrote about how suspicion is one of the fastest relationship killers over here, just in case you missed it, and I hope that you missed me as much as I missed you 😉 Today I’m going to put forth my own thoughts on why some men can never apologize, even when they are blatantly in the wrong, so let me know in the comments what you think about it and of course remember to click subscribe…..
1-He’s traditional af
So this one goes without saying: we took all the values and qualities from long ago, doctored them up a bit to suit modernity, then practically ran with them, never pausing to ask why or how things are the way they are.
In this respect, it’s fair to say that men took the lion’s share, so you often come across a man who is proud of being traditional in the sense that he’s the head of the family, should be consulted for everything going down, his word is always final, and of course, it is unmanly to be remorseful or to apologize for a wrong committed. This same guy will try to get a loan from his woman every now and then, and run to his mom a few days of the week to tell her of his woes and eat her food, it really is good after all. He will then turn around and never see his contradictory messy self, and will call you a radical feminist if you attempt to call him out for his actions. There.
2- He’s stubborn as a donkey
The second reason why some men can never apologize is not pleasant to hear, because it’s just sheer stubbornness. Sometimes they are truthful to themselves, and will often actually see that they made a mistake, but their egos would choke them to death if they ever attempted to swallow them so they don’t. They stand their ground and brazenly defend their case to the very end. They may eventually come around and admit that they were wrong a few weeks or months after the event, and to say the truth, this kind is more preferable to me than number 1 above. Still irritating as hell, but if you had to choose between an idiot and a fool, which would you rather?
3- He’s a manipulator, conditioning you to get used to worse
There’s a third variety in the picture, and this is the manipulative and/or narcissistic a*hole who knows exactly what he is doing, and goes about it with almost surgical precision. What this one is trying to do is to get you around to the idea that you are a lesser being who deserves the worst: but he took you in with all the goodness of his heart so you better apologize to him when he does something to piss you off, or disrespect you.
He will rule you with an iron fist, and make sure that you know he’s the best you will ever get so if you don’t treat him right and risk losing him, you will be out in the cold, alone.
What most women in this position fail to realize is that he’s the one who needs you, so that you can be a stone for him to step on because this is the only way he gets off.
By refusing to apologize, and in fact guilting you to apologize to him when he’s made some mistake, he’s passing the message across that you need him and are nothing without him, and when he’s successfully converted you, then you are well and truly stuck, and you will never get reprieve even if wronged greatly.
4- He’s spiteful and hateful of you
Some men are just hateful in nature(just like some women), so they go out and get wives, hell, have babies even, but over time they start to resent them. This may be with or without provocation, and when someone is constantly feeling hatred for you, how can they apologize, why even? He will want you to remain angry and one way to do this is by totally refusing to take any blame for his actions by apologizing for a wrong, and unless you can sit with him and talk and get to the root of the matter, he may even start intentionally pissing you off so that you can get angrier when he refuses to apologize.
5- The Gods gave him a gift of ignorance
This type makes you wonder if they were drooling on their bibs a second before you met them, because they are just so damn oblivious of everything going on, and they act honestly surprised when you let them know that they crossed the line and they need to apologize. You will be very surprised to know this is the second most common reason why some men can never apologize; second to being egotistical.
It’s almost as if they are in a different universe based on how they respond to situations requiring an apology: like it really never crossed their mind that people in this world apologize for anything. I honestly still don’t know if it is just pretense, as if it is then they can be great actors to say the truth. For the record though, most of them do apologize when explained to in great, vivid detail that what they did was wrong, which kinda takes the flavor out of the apology if you ask me…..
6- He was raised wrong
This one pains me to no end to have to write down because I am a mother and know just how difficult it can be to raise kids, let alone model ones. Some of our parents though, honestly did a crappy job at raising their kids, and you can often tell which ones were afflicted when you are in a group from their sense of entitlement, and borderline delusions of grandeur. You can see it in any setting where a doting mother won’t chastise her son for doing something wrong or make him apologize to the person they wronged with their light laugh of ‘wow, these boys are always like this’.
I pray every day to get this parenting thing right but heaven knows it takes a lot more than just prayer: you need to be present for your kids when they need you, otherwise they will grow strange and undesirable and a future pain in the neck for someone else’s well-raised children ……
To give parents some leeway, though, most of them honestly try their very best, but then their kids go out into the world and format what they grew up knowing only to learn new, stupid things from their ill-bred peers or worse, they just never learn in the first place and so become the ill-breds themselves. Tragic.
Both ladies.and gentlemen fall into these categories, to say the truth, but this post was not about women so…….
It’s always a headache to be with someone who will never say sorry, hard as it may be to do so in the first place. As long as you are with someone, mistakes will be made so we all need to learn how to swallow our pride and apologize when it’s called for, otherwise we may just chase away the one person who could have been our soul mate and stuff.
If you are with someone that never apologizes, you need to talk to them and let them know that it is important to apologize when wrong, because everyone makes mistakes and there’s really nothing ‘grand’ about not apologizing.
Let them know that things can, and will probably be better, when they learn to see themselves as human and therefore make atonement for their sins/wrongs, for without seeing oneself as a human who errs every now and then, one can never correct their flaws and will never be the best that they can be.
I will tell you in detail next time of some creative ways in which you can deal with such men, I’m sure we all know at least one (too many). While the title does not have the ‘gender equality’ that all women (apparently) yearn for nowadays, all these pointers also apply to women wherever they fit but since my angle is that of a woman scorned, I will rarely write such titles lol.
So go on, try it today: make a mistake and then apologize for it, see how good it feels. Just make sure that said mistake is fixable with an apology, and not punishable by death😉
Keep it foxxy, friends!