This thing just had to get me in trouble, and a hell of a lot sooner than I had assumed it would…… Yea you read right: I decided that since I can’t beat him then why not join him, maybe see things from his perspective and stuff.

So buckle up my foxxes, there’s going to be some turbulence…..<


Sometime last year after his text fiasco, there was of course another text, and another one, and some whatsapp texts and pictures, so I got sick of it and while in town shopping for a phone one day, I exchanged numbers with one of the attendants, tacky I guess but whatever, he was cute and I was drunk in vengeance.

I also scrolled through my contacts, and found one of a guy I’d matched with on tinder way back in 2016, after the second affair…. This is a story for another day …. So anyway I chatted them both up, of course the one I had known for a longer time got straight to business while we were covering friendly ground with the other one. I honestly don’t have a great answer for why I did this, but think it was more due to boredom and curiosity than anything else because heaven knows I had no serious intention of taking things to the next level with either of them (not to say I did not fantasize about it, though).

So anyway it’s all friendly chats and random calls from one, and super risqué private chats with the other. Looking back I think I got caught because of lack of experience…. The last fight we had had before all of these, was a major one -phone breaking major- and I was still smoldering in the aftermath of adrenaline/anger/hatred/ everything I had felt.

Back to today’s headline; what can I say, I was greedy for something or the other so it was all fun and games until my housemate saw calls on my phone from the latest addition, the old one could not have made that mistake because 1-he did not want a relationship, just random fun, and 2-he knew about my family situation so no calls at odd hours, and generally no overall clingyness.

We happened to be out of the country at the time, and had gotten a Sim card from over there so it was a totally virgin number (forgive the pun haha).

I had a dual line phone at the time and with roaming on, and it was not in my possession when the first call came through on my regular number. The second one was the fire-starter, because it came on the new number, the one that no one knew about unless one of us called using it.

Now a few days earlier, I had said that this would end (it was not the first time he knew about the intruder) and I put it to him that I would find a way to end things, whatever they were, before proceeding. The calls were therefore a confirmation that even now, after the truce and outside the country, I was actually initiating contact with him, and this pissed him off.

When we got back together, he let me know he’d seen the number, and we had a fight over it (verbal). I kind of enjoyed seeing him in my shoes for a change, but also felt a little bad, and wondered if this was less or more than he feels when this happens, every single time it does.

We worked that out though, and it was concluded that I was not to call him or speak to him anymore.

Then we got back home, two days into the new year, and once again, he had my phone. I had been exchanging texts on what’s app (and pictures) with the other, other one. That morning I had intended to delete the thread but never really got down to it, but as at some point of our arguments he’d told me to quit snooping on his phone, I thought he would uphold the same standards and not snoop on mine but lo and behold!

The reason he had my phone in the first place anyway is because his was broken up (by me….kinda…) so I felt a little guilty and let him have it for a while though my data and stuff was still on it.

So he went out that night to meet up a friend (so he said), and while over there he started sending me strangely suggestive texts and attachments, and I figured out he’d seen something, and braced myself for the fallout.

This time he was really pissed, and let me know as much. We had a protracted fight for about a week, and I suspect it ended because we both got tired of it. I wonder if this is what happens, couples put each other through hell and in the end just decide it cheaper and more convenient to stay together, not even fighting over misdeeds anymore but just glaring daggers at each other and muttering things under their breath…..

It was over anyway, for the time being. So do I feel sorry about it? I’m not sure I do, just a bit ashamed maybe. Will I go back to one or the other, or both? I honestly don’t know either. The only thing that I know at this point is that when we got to the worst part of the fight over his chatting with his latest ho, I felt that I was totally done with him, and just wanted to take the nearest exit.

My X‘s & O‘s; they’ll haunt me…