Hey all, today I’m going to write about the signs that you need to look out for if you want to know whether the man in your life is there for keeps, or if he is just a passer-by. No woman wants to spend seven years next to some loser, all the while teaching him to be a better man and ironing out the kinks that his mother left behind, only to find themselves with two kids, no career, no savings, and no plan-B, on the third weekend of the month that he has gone on a drinking spree with his buddies like a naive alcohol-starved and hormone-ridden teen. Some strong sentiments in there eh? Read on and be watchful my friends!


1- He won’t commit

If every time you ask him what your relationship is he starts to glance around like a pickpocket and/or dismisses you, it’s time to bounce because you are just a time-filler in his life, and like the billions of his kind out there, he doesn’t know what he wants so good luck finding it out…

2- He still talks with former and potential love interests

His phone is chock-full of messages, texts, emails and the like to and from people he felt something for or even had a relationship with at some point in time. When you ask him about it, he will give the timeworn classic of ‘she means nothing to me, we’re just talking’, or like a loser I knew once said ‘she texted hello and I felt obligated to respond, my mother never raised me to be rude and it would have been rude of me to ignore her’ …… Like seriously, isn’t it just totally psychotic to hide behind good morals while doing such an immoral and unethical act such as trying to double-time you? The nerve he had was something crucial to say the least though, and I hope it takes him very far in life…..very far away from me haha…..

3- He has a hard time opening up to you

You tell him every detail about you, from the time you learnt how to ride a bike (if you ever did haha) to your dreams and aspirations, and yet he never feels obligated to share anything with you, not even his favourite color. What are you still doing with him?

4- He won’t compromise nor sacrifice for you

If you ask for small favors or big favors and he responds the same way each time, he’s not there for the long haul. If you’re freezing and he has a scarf and a jacket, but instead of lending you one he asks you whether you are feeling cold, to which he responds with laughter or indifference, he sees you as just a random who may warm his bed every now and then so do the needful…..

5- He doesn’t like hanging out with you around his family and friends

You may go out on a thousand dates and hang out for a million hours, but you start to realize he’s never even accidentally bumped into any of his long-term friends or family, and this means that he doesn’t want them getting used to your face, he plans on replacing it sooner or later.

6- He forgets practically everything you tell him

He listens to you, but he doesn’t quite hear you. Your birthday? He forgot. The dinner plans? He forgot. Something you asked him to pick up for you on the way to where you were? Yep, he forgot. Some people are truly forgetful in nature, but even the most forgetful person will remember at least one thing concerning you. If it seems like he is making an effort to forget though, he probably is, as he doesn’t want to fill his mind with useless data that he won’t need in the future…..

7- There is no romance between you at all

No light pecks on the cheek, no random ‘I love you’ texts, no ‘hey, I saw this thing and it reminded me of you, so I got it for you and I hope you like it’, then he’s only there to share your bed. Contrary to what many people claim that it takes money and time to romance someone, it’s not entirely true; if someone wants to make you feel special, they will find a way, it’s not always about spending wads of cash on each other.

8- He puts in very little effort into the relationship

When you have a fight or an argument, he will simply fall back, let you do all the talking and once you are done, he will leave, not having taken part in any solution-sharing whatsoever. Also, you are always the one changing things about yourself to suit him, and he does not bother at all. Any successful relationship requires work from both parties, otherwise the one pulling all the weight tires, then what?

9- He’s not too keen on knowing you well

If he does not ask questions about you, to find out details concerning you; your likes, dislikes, interests, dreams and aspirations then he’s not interested in a future with you because you cannot build a future with a stranger.

10- He cheats

This should have been at the top of the list, but O well… As much as they say that monogamy is not for men and all that other acrid shite, a man that truly loves you will think about your feelings before he goes dipping his wick in random pots, and the fact that he does not want to hurt you will be enough to calm his carnal desires. If he is too hot and impulsive to be cooled by rationality, then he’s probably a wild animal, and wild animals belong in the zoo and the forest, not in our houses, eating our food and sharing our beds.

11- When he talks of future plans, you’re not in them

It’s always refreshing to discuss the future and build castles in a hypothetical forward time, but if you don’t feature in them, then it’s because he plans to discard you the moment things start to look serious, or just cast you to the side and seek out the one he truly wants to be with while you sit up all night wondering how hard he has to be working and what dangers he may be in to stay out all night, and always be tired whenever he’s actually home.

12- He is indecisive 

He blows warm, then cold, and is neither here nor there. When you ask him about something, it’s just too taxing for him to come to a decision, at least where you’re concerned, and this is probably because he doesn’t want to tell you something that will sound even remotely like commitment, so he dillies and dallies until you figure it out yourself, and leave, hopefully.

13- You’re not a priority in his life

He makes grand plans, small plans, wild plans,and sane plans, but whatever he does, it’s always with his best interests at heart, or those of his friends or family and never you. This is because he doesn’t really care if you fall by the way side, after all he plans to drop you randomly anytime so it’s better if you read the signs and get out.

14- Conversation has run dry

Whenever you hang out, apart from greetings and very small talk, watching movies, eating, and having sex, there is very little else going on between the two of you. Having a conversation does not flow as you maybe have very little in common with each other, or it feels like chewing cardboard in that it’s dry and tasteless. If you can’t find a way to converse naturally for a length of time, that’s a sign that you are just not meant to be together.

 

15- You can never agree about anything

You are always at opposite ends of whichever thing you talk about. When you say it’s too cold, he says it’s too hot, and when the food is too spicy, he says it’s bland etc. While some bizarre people out there use this strategy to keep the conversation alive and ‘interesting’ and so they can seem to have an opinion (which is just plain dumb to say the truth anyway) it may be a sign that he’s intentionally trying to show you that nothing you have to say is correct, and unless you want to live life always trying to say something but getting told you’re wrong even when you’re right, you ought to walk away.

Besides, this can also be a premise for gaslighting and once that demon has sunk his teeth deep in you, you will be left wishing you had walked while you could because it will drain you half to death and when your esteem has esentially plummetted to the depths, it will be that much harder to leave even when he starts treating you like a plastic coat hanger rather than a human being.

So this is all that I have today and would love to know what you think; have I left out any major sign? have I exxagerated sommething that is otherwise very common-place? Let me know in the comments below, and do remember to subscribe to get more of this in your inbox the second I post, keep it foxxy outchea 😎

XOXO