Hello all! Catch my last blog over here where I mused over what I ever saw in him, and let me tell you of how I came to be reminded once again that I am a feminist just a few days ago lol😯
We had attended a friend’s traditional marriage ceremony the other day, and then went to the after party, and were with some friends of the him. Actually all of them were his friends, since I’ve long since lost any meaningful ties I had created before I (figuratively) died, so almost all were guys, and there was plenty of alcohol, good quality if I may add haha. Out of a group of about 15, there were only three of us girls, and at the table I was sat, it was his friends with whom I was a bit more familiar than the rest, so as we talked and the alcohol flowed, the battle of the sexes reared its ugly head when one of the guys disappeared for a while, only to resurface with ‘at least the missus will be okay, I’ve explained to her I will be late today. The rest of the guys obviously got into their feelings like never before saying how he was now ‘setting the bar too high’, and ‘ acting ridiculous’ with his ‘high standard-setting’ and all.
I’ve never been out with them as a kind of ‘complete’ group as they were, which is apparently also rather close knit and stuff. I didn’t know either that this was to be a different setting than I was used to, or as I want to rephrase, I didn’t know that we had taken a step back in time, into the dark ages when we had just discovered fire and lived in caves and/or trees, and women were only to be seen and not heard.
I should probably point out that I have never had an issue with being told that I am a feminist, even though we live in a point in time when it is better to be called a prostitute than be called a feminist, and by people who do not even know what that term means, just that it is what a lot of ugly, old, childless, single, bitter women (strictly their definition, not mine so do not quote me) are nowadays and what (apparently) none of their mothers were. I’m sure you all know the phenomenon whereby the second you get told to do something, even if you were starting to do it willingly, you lose all interest of doing it immediately. Also, the more you get told not to do something or speak or dress a certain way, you kind of get drawn to it. The same applies to having a feminist for a woman; the more you tell her to stop sounding like one, it’s like you asked her to increase her volume, so it goes most of my articles now have a certain peculiar twist to them 😎
So, when one of his friends brought the argument up that guys need to have some time free of pressure and stress to hang out with their guy friends (for non homosexual activities, I assumed) until as late as they needed and not be pestered with phone calls all night, I obviously countered with ‘is the same ok if your wife/girlfriend did it?’ And ‘what does it cost you really to just make that phone call and let her know that you will be very late, so not to worry her pretty head waiting up for you because you are fine?’
I had opened wide the gates of hell.
We had a long back and forth during which I was trying to tell them that the point was not staying out late or drinking or even cheating because at some point you got with the program and let the dog loose because a dog is a dog is a dog, just making sure to take precautions to keep yourself safe.
The point was that it was common courtesy if nothing else- not even emasculation, to notify the one you had left at home of the hours and general location you are at so that in case anything happened, they would know where to start looking for your corpse. So ok, I didn’t use these exact terms but it’s making me angry remembering the event so filter if you want, it’s completely allowed to do so.
At this point, I should point out that countless times his mother has called me asking where he was and if i could pass messages to him because she needs him urgently and cannot reach him on his phone, so tell him this and that the second you see him and ask him to RSVP ASAP etc.
Needless to say, when the seconds turn into hours and days and the phone calls don’t stop and you honestly have no idea where the mother’s child is, you get pressure that you really don’t need, and from someone who often does not give two shits about you and despises you like those two shits that she cannot give about you.
Anyway I said things in this likeness and we had a hearty argument and more alcohol and eventually we all went home, not on bad terms – at least according to me.
So the following evening we were talking random things about the misadventures of that day when the topic came up, and I was told that I had dealt a serious blow to his man card.
One of his friends jokingly referred to me as a feminist in a statement he made to the him when I stepped out, and true to form he took that as personally as the boxers he had on. He reprimanded me and told me that respectful and respectable women should never open their mouths in the company of men to say things like those I had said, when I asked if it was ok for women to do as the men did. On stating that i thought we were in the correct century for a woman to speak her mind and stuff, I was told that it is actually an honor to even be allowed to sit at the same table as men, and speak with them at all.
Well, well, well.
I was told that those people would now look at me differently, and not necessarily in a good ‘differently’, because, well, I am a feminist in their eyes now, and who likes those things?
I was told that there are norms in society, and having gender-based arguments with his friends was going against those norms. At this point I still kind of thought it was all a joke, so I said that I had thought it was okay since we were all familiar and we were not talking behind his back or anything, and I did practice restraint to say the truth, but he would hear none of it. If we were ever amongst his friends again, I was to remain prim and pretty, and shut the fk up with my feminist speeches and thoughts because no one wants to hear that shit. That they knew me to be calm and polite but thanks to that evening they would now see me as a ruthless feminist – and why would I want that, hmm?
I just ended up nodding in silence as I performed calculus in my head trying to figure out when a time machine got invented, and I stepped into it in 2019 and stepped out in 1019.
I didn’t even realize we had 4G internet that long ago, nice stuff, right?
Anyway thanks for stopping by, and do keep it foxxy as always, and also share and subscribe!