I think that the answer is simple in theory, but complex in practice, and one part of it is just that you need to pull together. If each of us carries their weight in the relationship, over time we will have enough strength to actually help the other one with theirs on those dark days when it’s all you can do to keep breathing.
When he gives you lip service and basically becomes a toddler that you have to run after and fuss over all the time, otherwise he’s going to wallow in his own literal shit because you ignored him for three full seconds.
Sometimes though, it’s not really toxicity, you may just be dealing with a shitty human leftover who was raised by farm animals in human skin; I should say wolves but wolves are cool now, and what I imply is anything but cool.
The biggest difference is in the tone that they use; if you feel inspired to do better or try harder when they talk it’s good criticism, but if it feels like sweat slipping down your back into your butt crack on the day you wore light, bright, fitting pants, that’s nagging.
I read somewhere online that the damage of a lover’s betrayal comes from picturing them with someone else over and over again, and you become disgusted with yourself because it makes you feel like you weren’t good enough for them.
Women are socialised differently from men, most of us may be sweet and shy about it, but after a lot of going to and fro, a woman who is not interested eventually lets you know as much, and you are not doing yourself any favours by choosing to ignore this.
She will talk about a road-trip she’s planning for next week, or a wedding she’s been invited to next month etc, and you will be in the picture, but if she never invites you to future events with her and never alludes to you being by her side in years to come,, it might be because she does not even think you will be with her tomorrow, and is simply wasting your time.
At this point, who would want you- broken, jealous, failing, small-minded, silly, and miserable at everything as you are? You would be dumb to leave because they’re good to you and treat you like a human being (sometimes). This is the rope they keep you tethered to; and the greatest reason why it’s difficult to leave a toxic relationship.
Welcome back! Last time I wrote about some random shenanigans I had gotten up to over here on ‘side-dish chronicles’ because it occurred to me that while I have received some hard-core selfishness, I’ve also dished some out myself. So, what do you do when you fall hard for that perfect human being, only to…
If they seem willing to go down this path with you, then by all means take the leap of faith, and bring the big guns as it won’t be a walk in the park; but with their cooperation things may work out well in the end.