I trust you have all been well, I have as well, just a bit lonely and melancholy as I’m sure everyone gets every now and then, which got me thinking, does everyone, especially extroverted people, get into this deep, dark place at some point? I believe they do, it’s only natural…….
Naturally, ladies are more outspoken than gents on matters relationship, hence their apparent resilience in the face of trials and tribulations in the relationship. So what happens when you’re a woman and lack that trusty network that you can vent to?
Introversion is my gift, and it is also my curse.
The strange mix of characters that make me, me, have also ensured that I don’t respond too well to nonsense and unnecessary drama which are apparently vital parts of any given relationship.
This has then made me push away or pull away from those I deem to be more trouble that they’re worth, due to some being only there to hear of my latest relationship mishaps while never sharing their own in a costructive way or even helping out, and others being around only to use me as a kind of feel-good stepping-stone; everything is fine as long as I’m not doing as well as or better than they are.
So, I dropped them all and now have to wallow through this relationship murk by myself which is the main reason I started this blog and for pretty much everything else I do online. And you know what? It feels good to write down my deepest thoughts and feelings, hoping that they will be read by someone who is maybe going through the same things as I am, and the thought that they might feel a bit better in some strange way is what keeps me going, even on days I really don’t want to write or feel I just can’t push myself any more.
I write because it makes me happy, and in a sense I am fulfilled when these thoughts and words are out of me, as this is the closest thing I have to a listening and caring ear, the internet (where are our parents to chastise me for befriending the big bad web lol).
Sometimes it’s easy, and other times it’s not, and sometimes I almost reach for the phone to call a ‘friend’ for a chat, but then remember that they will just turn around and judge me, or share it with their bigger circle of friends to my detriment and I can’t stand that though I wish I could for the sake of the greater good.
As much as it’s fun and relieving to share with the internet, it’s not the same as sharing with an actual person and getting instant feedback and responses, and support, whether real or perceived, so I suppose I am missing out.
Or not…… because the drama is something else….
Anyway, I would love to hear what my fellow introverts do and how they navigate relationships, if at all there are any out there reading my blog, so we can maybe share tips and all, and be friends (or not, lol).
Do have a lovely rest of your day wherever you are, and welcome back in a few days, when I will hopefully be done with getting an actual website of my own to keep this up, wish me luck.
ily my internet buddies, even if we don’t exactly talk 🙂