They need you to feel weak, powerless, confused, pointless, obscure, and stranded without them. They want you to wonder how you will edit your résumés if you leave them. If you will ever get a job all by yourself. Will you really manage to handle all the bills and organization without them in your life? How will you raise the kids without their guiding hand to help you along?
I think that the answer is simple in theory, but complex in practice, and one part of it is just that you need to pull together. If each of us carries their weight in the relationship, over time we will have enough strength to actually help the other one with theirs on those dark days when it’s all you can do to keep breathing.
When he gives you lip service and basically becomes a toddler that you have to run after and fuss over all the time, otherwise he’s going to wallow in his own literal shit because you ignored him for three full seconds.
Sometimes though, it’s not really toxicity, you may just be dealing with a shitty human leftover who was raised by farm animals in human skin; I should say wolves but wolves are cool now, and what I imply is anything but cool.
Hello world, and welcome back to my wild estrogen-fueled musings and rantings lol. last time I wrote about having a partner who is never satisfied over here; and today I’m back loaded with a question that has, over time, earned me the (unfortunately insulting) title of a woman with ‘feminist’ tendencies lol. Note that I…
The biggest difference is in the tone that they use; if you feel inspired to do better or try harder when they talk it’s good criticism, but if it feels like sweat slipping down your back into your butt crack on the day you wore light, bright, fitting pants, that’s nagging.
It isn’t love either when you say you do at the alter, only to start grinding glass and steel wool and mixing it in his food while you oblige to his every need and submissively turn the other cheek every time he hits you, all the while knowing that you’ll get the last laugh anyway when his system crashes and you be laughing all the way to the bank to cash in whatever you had been building together.